When my kids were little, I couldn’t wait for them to talk! My eldest started quite late, and I dreamed of how it would have been nice to communicate more easily.. I was naive, I know. But how priceless when they just start shattering their thoughts around, without filters nor brakes! Because the silly things children say reveal the free course of their interpretation of the world..

The only problem then is to remember it all. Even their impertinence. When we know that we should scold them, but they’re just so funny! And in the end, laughing works a little like cuddling. : a real tension’s discharge (maybe it also helps to better develop our brains)

Unfortunately, I never had the reflex to write them down somewhere, but I exchanged them with my family on a chat. So I spent two hours trying to retrieve all the silly things children say or said over the last three years, to share them with you! Because in the end, this is one of this blog’s missions right?).. We can all learn from the silly things children say : to let us invade by the enthusiasm of whoever discovers everything for the first time. Without judgments or beliefs. Just a spark of life. Ready?!

PS : my children do speak Italian at home. Therefore, I translated their sentences trying to take into consideration their intention and the linguistic differences.

First words

The very first sentence goes back to 3 years ago. My daughter was just starting out with the language at the time. I couldn’t stand her rebellious strands, and I’d decided to cut her hair myself  (such a crazy idea, I know).

Various and vain attempts later, I gave up my good intentions and sound principles, and I offered her my cellphone to watch Peppa Pig. (For those with older kids : Peppa Pig is a very popular cartoon among young children. Peppa is a little-girl-pig that lives in an English countryside populated by animal-people ..)

You can’t improvise hairdresser. So this also decreed my next obligation to take her to a real one. Long story short. She was nonetheless very proud of her new haircut, and adored me for that (kids’innocence). While her dad was changing her diaper, she rewarded her mother’s commitment by telling him:”Mama you better!” She then turned to me as I was leaving for work : “Ciao my luv see ya late!”

Joys of the second pregnancy

A few days later. Lucky me that I’d cut her hair! For love of precision, you must know that I was heavily pregnant with my second child at the time. Here is the conversation with my parents:

Me, 6:51 pm : “The joys of a Monday : My daughter has lice and beats the other children in nursery school..”
My family : “You can remove the lice .. The other is more complicated.. What do the teachers say? She’s not training for her little brother yet??”
Me : “Seems she’s training, yes”

Always at the same time, every time my daughter would wake up at night and cry, the baby would also start hitting me .. They were already brotherly tuning! Maybe he wanted to make sure I’d wake up. However, my daughter called us in turns (to please no one ..) and by our names.”Mommy Cliooooo!” Maybe she wanted to make sure it was the right parent ..

The silly things children says : Boy or girl?

During the Mass, after having observed a statue of Jesus for a long time, my daughter goes: “Mom, I would so want to be a boy.” Why ? “Because I don’t want to remain a girl for my whole life!”

The grass is always greener apparently. Once he was potty trained, my son : “Mom, we’ll have to buy me a vagina like my sister’s, cause I don’t have one !”

Him again, a few months later : “I’d like to be a girl.” Why is that? “Because in that way, I’ll be able to answer to my sisters.”. Ah. But why, don’t you like being a boy ? “Hum. Actually, I want to be a super hero!”

The silly things children say : Time conception

“Mom, you know, when dad left, I cried for my whole life !”> But when? I don’t remember it.. “eh, you weren’t even born yet mommy!”

We were waiting for grand-parents to visit on that day, but because of traffic, they were running late. My daughter was getting really impatient, she was agitated like an artist before an exhibition. Honey, grandma and grandpa are coming, but tonight. “WHAT?! But mom!!!! You had told me that they were coming TODAY!”

The silly things children say : Misunderstandings

“Mom I love you too, but I’m a little not too proud of you, because once you made my mouth water.”

The silly things children says : Life aspirations

A little precision here. Just before my husband left for Germany last year, we went to Sicily on a family trip. The children and I would have then stayed in our home by ourselves. I had already explained all of this to the children, in order to prepare them a little. “Mom, why did daddy go to Germany?” To work. “Oh but mom, why couldn’t he go to work in Sicily ?!” Should I blame her???

“Auntie, I want to spend my whole life just watching cartoons!”

“You know grandma, in reality I am a little mermaid. A really naughty witch made me a spell and transformed me in a human being.”(She got it already: being human isn’t always the simplest option… 😉 )

The silly things children say : Nutrition

“You know auntie, I did a lot of dives in the swimming pool today, therefore I should eat pasta! When I’m an adult I can eat the salad. But not now otherwise my tummy aches.”

“Mom, it’s so not fair! The world is really going backwards! It should have been that eating a lot of pasta and chocolate is good, and eating fruits and vegetables is bad!”

The silly things children say : How does the world work ?

But do you know why the sky is blue? “Yes mom, because once a big dragon spilled some Smurf ice cream and the sky want all blue!”

An evening in December, we’re all tired; I’d laid my head on my husband’s shoulder. “Hey! It seems like daddy is a pillow!”. Why? “Because mommy is perched on him like a hen!” How to offend two people at the same time…

My son wanted to cut his sister’s doll’s hair. I stopped him right on time and told him about what had happened to me when I was little : my sister had also cut my stuffed lion’s mane, thinking it would have grown back.. I wasn’t very happy at the time. “But why its hair doesn’t grow ?” Because it’s a doll, and hair only grows back to humans. “Yeah, except to daddy!”

“Grandpa, how do the fish die?” Of old age. “So you don’t have much left.“

We woke up my son very gently. He opened his eyes, then solemnly exclaimed: “I am the brother of my sister!”

“Mom, what does bald mean?” Without hair. “Ah, you mean like dad?”

One day during school holiday, we went to the square while my husband was at work : “Dad is a dummy!” Why is that? “Eh mom, who goes to work is a dummy!”

The silly things children say : Some manners please!

It’s been a while that my daughter doesn’t nap anymore. So, when her brother does nap on the weekend, she gets a little bored.. One day she managed to escape my surveillance and went waking him up :”Wake up! Are you in a good mood?!?” You bet!

“Mom, to tell somebody he’s a fatty is really bad isn’t it ?! Dad no longer, but before in order to be nice we told him only that he was a bit pudgy, otherwise he would have been sad!”

The silly things children say : Foreign languages

A friend we hadn’t seen in a long time visited us. He asked my son : “What language do you speak?” “I am in Italian and in English!”

My daughter a few days ago : “Mom I don’t understand. At school, everybody keeps telling me that I come from Italy, and I tell them that it’s not true, that I come from France, but nobody believes it!” Well honey, maybe that’s because you do speak Italian and not French.. it’s true we traveled here from France, but you are Italian. “Actually, I have a lot of confusion in my head mom..”

The silly things children say : Money

We’re leaving to go the school in the morning : “Bye daddy, work hard please, so you can earn more money!”

My daughter can’t wait to loose her teeth and the tooth-Fairy will come and leave her a dime under the pillow. What would you do with that money? “Eh mom, I’d buy something to eat! Pasta, tomato sauce, some chocolate..” Maybe I don’t give her enough to eat??

The silly things children say : The bike

We went to the playground close to our house. My son really wanted to take his training bike. Do you want your helmet? “Yes mom! I must put my helmet on, otherwise I fall! If I put my helmet on, I don’t fall.” It’s called Murphy’s law honey..

We were waiting for the green light while we were coming back home with our bikes. My son : “Mom your bike is broken isn’t it?” I  hope not! Why? “Because I’m too good in repairing it! You know, with daddy’s tools it takes a long time, but I’m a champion with my screwdiver!”

The silly things children say – to conclude : Roles and evolution

I was cleaning the floors (it’s pretty rare, but still..) my daughter : “Mom, you look like Cinderella! I am the step-mother then.”

To her brother “Oh come on, marry me so afterwards I can have a baby in my tummy and you’ll be happy!” Wait I need to explain to you how to NOT conquer a man..

You know grandma, a long time ago my dad used to catch lions and lived in the forest. Then he met my mom, and he became a normal man.

What are your children’s silliest sentences? Write them in the comment section here below! And if you want to laugh a little more, you should go take a look to these parents’ quotes about children, and these really funny things from other children!