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You've probably wondered at least once in your life as a parent.. why my kids cry whenever I leave ! Even when it's just for a short time? Even when they're having fun? Attachment theory can help us understand this. Can it maybe help us feeling less guilty? 

Why my kids cry whenever I leave and feeling guilty
Don't cry, I'll be right there!

DISCLAIMER: I've learnt from different sources, but one of the most significant and richest was the online course that Edx provides on Developmental Psychology that I followed. I did not directly take material from this course, I only took notes and memorized the contents. If you're interested, I highly recommend this course, it's very interesting. 

The perfect mother doesn't exist, however...

I don't know if it's because I'm woman, or because I had a Catholic education, or if it's just my temperament, but guilt is a recurring sensation in my life. It is even more so since I've become a mother. Perhaps I see myself in my children, I relive my childhood in them.. And my expectations on which mother I'd like to be are (maybe) too high. The feeling of being inadequate, is just around the corner.

One of the most difficult moments for me is bringing my children to school. I turn around quick and leave while they cry out desperately because they want to be with me.

I know that they will stop thirty seconds later, but.. And I know that they have fun, and learn a lot at school. And I also believe that having an activity of my own is essential for my mental balance (and therefore also for theirs) !

Bad mother. Why don't you keep them at home with you? Or don't you do more things together? And why did you scold them this morning when you came to school?

The nursery school they attend at the moment is great, they ask me to go there on weekends, sometimes they don't even want to come back home when I pick them up.. and yet in the morning they cling to me and cry.

And so I ask.. why my kids cry whenever I leave, but not when it's daddy who takes them?! And why sometimes I can't even go to the toilets for 5 minutes? or leave on errands for an hour?  ...continue reading "Why my kids cry whenever I leave.. Attachment theory"

Before I even get started, I want to make clear what my mission is. Why do I write. How can I serve you.

why-this-blog-framework
A framework - Photo by Jessica Ruscello on Unsplash

Who am I and what's this blog about?

I am a parent who's been there (and still am actually!).

A mom who's found herself yelling at their kids, and then felt guilty. Who went to work leaving a crying baby behind, not knowing her whys anymore.

A person who's tried to make everyone happy, and then wouldn't know why she was unhappy at times.

...continue reading "Mission Statement – why do I write ?"

At what age did you or your children learn how to ride a bike without wheels? Was it easy? Who taught you? I was amazed when seeing a little child riding all by himself.. How could I teach my daughter too? The answer came unexpectedly.. When I saw how my daughter learnt to ride her bike for an ice-cream. If I only had known her better!!

how my daughter learnt to ride her bike for an ice-cream on the road
Bike learning on the road

Bike and independence

For my daughter, her independence has begun with learning to ride a bike without wheels. She starts off, all by herself, and flies away with a big smile. This is the first time I feel proud of having taught her all that, when seeing her so happy with herself. I forget all the frustration we experienced during a long winter of unsuccessful attempts.. So, here's the (true) story of how my daughter learnt to ride her bike for an ice-cream.

Is there a technique? I asked myself several times. I saw a lot of children, even a lot younger than she was (4, almost 5 now), walking past our window with the assurance of a bicycle veteran, and constantly asking me this question: but how did their parents do?! Why can't we do it?

I looked on the internet, like many of you probably, and saw the usual captivating titles : "5 steps for teaching your kid to ride a bike"; or "how to teach your child to ride a bike in 45 minutes"; or even in 30 minutes! Doesn'it it feel frustrating at times? Like.. Partly you hope it will work, and partly you know it's going to be a lot harder than that.. ...continue reading "How my daughter learnt to ride her bike for an ice-cream"